Hey, guys.

I hope you’re all doing well and taking care of yourselves and others. This is a weird, scary time. It took me off balance when I said to Joe, “We’ve never lived like this. This is wholly new.” It’s a time of the in-betweens, and the in-betweens are never comfortable. Those cold nights in spring. The gap that’s left when a relationship ends. Before it heals, before you are whole again.

We are in the in-betweens, and all of us are in it together.

Today’s Hey, Cynova question is about living in the in-betweens in love. What happens when you break up, and your heart is still living with that other person?

And what are you supposed to do about it?

Hey, Cynova,

Been thinking about my ex forever. It’s been 1.5 years. Tried to reach multiple times but no answer. I keep thinking of him anyway. I am pretty sure inside of me we are not done yet. Are we? Even years ahead. I know i Have to go forward i Just wanna be sure. 

I so get this. I really do. I’ve been in this situation before when the connection between me and an ex just hung out there like an exposed nerve.


The cards are showing that you’re battling right now. Battling for what used to be. If you could just talk to them, get them to listen?

In the meantime, this entire battle has been happening in you and to you. All of the longing and pain – that plays out in you. His struggles are his own, and you are slowly defeating yourself with your longing.

Temperance asks you to regain your balance. Regardless of whether he wants you back, the question to ask is WHY do you want HIM back? Why? What will it serve you?

The process to focus on is getting yourself back. Whole. Energized. Stronger.

The King of Cups shows me that you have a huge capacity for love. Use it on yourself. Point it at yourself. Do the things you’ve been putting off and make yourself stronger, happier, and more complete.

Also? Write his full name down and put it in a ziplock bag with salt and water. Toss him in the freezer. That should help.

Please take good care of you. You matter, past the point of this relationship’s end. You matter more than your last pairing.


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