Hey, nerds,

It’s been a weird time for me – got sick, hospital, lots of blood tests, still don’t know what’s up with me for sure. And then I started feeling better and then got the second Pfizer vaccine and that knocked my ass out. So I feel like Rocky saying, “Cut me, Mick! Cut me!” I got stuff to do! I can’t waste another month on being still. ugh so boring i can’t. So you get a newsletter, because I am a bad patient.

Also, phone readings are open again. I have been booking out a week in advance. Which is cool. I like knowing what my week will look like.

So hi! This month, we’re going to talk about how to read the cards by telling a story. There are a few ways to do this, and the first and easiest (in my experience) is a past-present-future reading.

The best way to teach this is to give examples. The deck that I’m using is the Pocket of Peers tarot by my buddy, Jamie Sawyer, whom I adore. I’m the High Priestess card in this deck, which tickles me to no end. 🙂

Reminder about email and phone readings, and also lots of classes over on Teachable. ALSO, in the next few months, I’ll be announcing the teachers for the 2021 Kitchen Table Gathering. I’m feeling optimistic about the fall, so we’ll be having it in St. Louis! woot.


Question – I’m not sure that my friends are being honest with me. If they don’t like me, fine, but I feel excluded. What’s up?

Story #1- 6 of cups, 5 of cups, 8 of swords

Things were great before the pandemic hit (6 cups), but you’ve been feeling super lonely and disconnected lately (5 cups). The 8 swords are showing that your fear is internal, not external, and you should breathe, schedule a zoom, and tell your people how you’re feeling. Looks like everyone is feeling the same paranoia (8 swords) because this is not normal and it’s been a goddamned year. Be gentle with yourself and lead with love, not fear.


Question – I feel like I missed my chance to find my person and am going to be alone forever.

Story #2 Temperance, 7 of Swords, 5 Swords (reversed)

You just found out how to be happy and balanced (Temperance), and you’re self sabotaging with this shit (7 swords)? Come on, man. Listen, if the voice in your head can’t do anything but talk shit and make you doubt yourself (5 swords reversed), then lets go talk to a counselor and get some meds because that’s a bunch of self defeating bullshit.


Question – I can’t seem to get happy. One part of my life will get straightened out and the other one will go to hell. Why can’t everything be ok all at once?

Story #3 – High Priestess, The Empress, 10 of Cups

Listen here, punkin. You called a tarot reader for a reason (HP!). You’re supposed to find happiness in little chunks every day (Empress). You are never going to be completely happy, you will never be in perfect control, and you will never ever balance every single thing. Ever. That’s not how life works.

HOWEVER, if you look for chunks of joy every day, and pretty much just follow the Four Agreements (Ten of Cups), you’ll be happy most of the time, which is awesome.


Practice practice practice with this method. I find it’s helpful to phrase “If HP plus Empress = 10 Cups” and then fill in keywords for the cards, then make it a sentence.

Remember that tarot readings are storytelling, and tell the story the cards lay out for you.



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