My grandmother died three years ago. Right in the middle of my third layoff in as many years. Just before she died, my dear Uncle Jerry died. Then my grandfather died. It changed me, and I’m still changed. I was swimming around in grief for so long, I think my soul got a little pruney.
My grandmother, Virginia, stepped in to be my mother when my own mother took off. Even though she’s gone, she’s still everywhere. She’s in my daughter’s eyes. I have her incense burner, so she’s in my home. I have her hands.
Dealing with that grief was so hard, so heavy. I decided to do something about it.
The first thing I did was write her a letter, and say all of those things that I couldn’t say to her. I know she knew that I loved her. I knew that she loved me back. But there were things – like thank you for being my mom – that I never could find the words for. How do you thank someone for something like that?
So I wrote her a letter.
I then took one of the condolence plants I got from her, and buried the letter underneath it. I watered it and took good care of it. And I knew that SHE knew that I was still thinking about her.
There is a lot of grief in the world right now, and this is a simple way to help process it. It doesn’t mean that you’re not still grieving. Just that you don’t need to carry it around like a big, wet, backpack.
Remember, take good care of yourself FIRST.