We have these plastic, reusable water bottles that we use here, and there are 15 of them. I’ve got two teenagers, and part of doing dishes is refilling those bottles. You guys, they never did it. Or I had to ask, or threaten, or treat them like toddlers. It was super frustrating, so I solved the problem by writing “Mom”, “Boy Child” and “Girl Child” on them. Five bottles for each, and we’re all responsible for filling up our own bottles.

You guys? They stopped using the bottles.

I mean, clever countermove that I DID NOT see coming, but seriously? Nefarious children.

I have realized that I did this same move with my health in the last 20 years or so. My teen years were filled with Sassy Magazine inspired resistance to being told what to do with my body. My 20’s saw the beginning of the anti fat-shaming movement, and my 30’s the beginning of body positivity. This is some important information and I’m glad I have it, but I gamed the system with it.

I decided to stop caring about my body. My mind is sharp, I can read cards like a beast, and when I was single, to quote Amy Schumer “I could catch a D whenever I want”. My emotional self is good (ish) and I can do whatever I want with my body so I decided….to not to. I just stopped caring. This got me further than it should have, honestly. I stayed about the same size (stack o’curves) and ate what I want and moved when I had to. when my health started going downhill, I didn’t have anything to weigh that against. It’s hard to feel less strong when you don’t feel strong in the first place.

I don’t really have a stunning conclusion to this, because my sleep is still fucked up and I’m trying to figure out how to get off of permanent Australian time. No offense to Australians. I think you guys are great. I moved my body today, I did not eat garbage.

Today’s card was the 2 of Pentacles, and on Pentacles days, I make sure I’m staying grounded. I am grounded.

xo

Lis